The Second Class Friend

sec∙ond class friend
idiom.

1. A friend treated inferior.
2. A friend given secondary status.

It's not about an ancient pal from the 2nd grade. It's about the feeling of being treated low by friends you believe are/were close to you. I read a comment on a blog where a person stated that a trivial friendship is much easier handled than a close one. Her stated reason? there are just too many emotions involved with the close pal which causes quite a bit of highs & lows whereas in a fair-weather one you didn't give a damn about the other person's opinion. I agree.

I'm beginning to believe that a close friendship with the opposite sex is actually like a relationship without the intimacy & with lesser whining perhaps, but the good times, fights-on-trivial-matters & misunderstandings are indeed there for the 2 of 'em involved, to see. I think, I, as a human do have few issues. Once I consider someone a close friend, I tend to be there for 'em always to help 'em. I don't mean 24/7 like a leech. I mean always just a call away. Might seem like a nice thing but its 1 single factor that has caused me more pain than anything else in Life. I've found that not all react the same. Does a good friend have the right to expect to be treated with courtesy & respect? Is that too much to ask really? I think that's the cheapest & best gift one can give a good friend. But from the looks of goings-on around me one shouldn't really do that much. It frustrates me that the lesson is so tough for me to learn when everyone else seems to have it ingrained.

The Second Class friend, I felt I was, many a time. No matter what or How much I do, I never felt that people wanted to be around me just. Always felt like only when they needed my help or just wanted some goofy Ol' fellow to crack up some silly fun moments during a break or a boring part of the day, they called me. I'm perhaps a little difficult friend owing to my language & manner, but I'm not someone who pretended to be somebody else. If I said something critical it was always with an intent for the other to improve, for their eventual happiness. I don't get nothing out of being a critic. I ain't so low as to feed off people's misery. Aren't "Close friends" supposed to accept me for what I am? Afterall they are the ones who know me best. They know I might say crude, rash sounding statements, but that I always talk that way without actually meaning it & always always always in a Humourous fashion. I'm not claiming to be Mr.Nice guy here but I know if I didn't give the other one the respect they deserve I immediately apologize & make sure they know what I indeed thought of 'em & I do my level best to never follow the blunt-mouth-syndrome. I just blah things that come to my head. Guess I should be a Hippie! I don't think I've it in me to actually hurt someone, consciously. A good thing is it? I feel it to be the biggest disadvantage of studying in a spiritual boarding school. Its just so difficult to end up being on the receiving side of all the crap. I've lost quite a few of my good friends over trivial issues or issues I can't even remember! My thought is that if one can't remember 'em or are trivial, it must not be that important anyway! Why play the problems of the past over & over again in a loop & cause more unwanted hatred when all one needs to do is Sit down & talk politely with an aim of a good outcome. Is that difficult? So much pain & bloodshed in this world happens just because no one wants to sit down & talk & sort their differences. Why? 1 word. Ego.

Message: Ego Hurts. Love does not. - Bhagwan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

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